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How much is enough? And other deep questions raised by Netflix

It seems like everyone is talking about Marie Kondo, the Japanese tidying-up queen. Her book even spawned a new verb: to KonMari.

Marie Kondo is now on Netflix, where she helps people who have become smothered by their own ‘stuff’, exhorting them to ponder each item and ask ‘Does this spark joy?’. (If it doesn’t, it’s out.)

I’m a fan of the concept.

When I left my marriage, I basically just took my clothes and shoes. Well, ok.  I also took the  Tupperware, the Le Creuset and my Mundial knife. A girl’s gotta cook.

I started again, and it was strangely liberating.

Yet how quickly we acquire more things. I’ve told myself no more kitchenware, but it’s hard. I recently gushed with envy over a friend’s omelette pan.

Which brings me to the a question I’ve been pondering for a while now: how do we know when we have enough?

Enough what, you ask?

Anything, really.

The big challenge of our modern lives and disposable incomes is simply saying no.

When you have money, there’s always more you can buy.

Maybe it’s one more cheap T-shirt. Maybe it’s another pair of designer heels. Maybe it’s one more eyeshadow palette, to get one particular colour.

Whatever your thing, you have the ability and opportunity to continuing indulging in it.

But there comes a point, hopefully before Marie Kondo has to step in, when it’s time to ask the question: is this enough?

It might be that you’re running out of space (or money).

Maybe you have so many Lorna Jane crop tops you struggle to rotate them efficiently (I hear that’s a thing, wouldn’t know myself).

Maybe your wife gets cranky at all the space your bikes are taking up in the garage (sorry dad).

Or maybe you just start feeling guilty about the impact you’re having on the earth.

I’ve been talking to people about this to get their view on this thorny topic.

I asked a girlfriend at work how many work outfits are enough. ‘Ten’, she replied. Two weeks of new outfits, then rotate again. ‘After all, a man normally has a couple of suits and ten shirts’.

The girls in the team nodded thoughtfully, then all agreed that was a preposterous notion. We could quite literally wear a new outfit for a month without duplicating it.

Which really gives you pause for thought. (And hopefully I have that pause, next time I’m in a changeroom.)

Pick your vices

My dad’s advice is to try and limit your number of vices to one. He has chosen bikes, and associated bike gear, as his vice. He claims to have culled to the very reasonable number of three. His wife remains unconvinced, but this is a woman with a chandelier in every room, so I’m not sure she’s blameless.

And if we all have our different vices, we also need to have things we’re happy to be a tight-arse about.

I have an obscene amount of fancy activewear, but use a Kmart handbag. My friend has an obscenely large collection of designer bags,  but buys cheap gymwear. We revel in judging each other about it.

It all comes back to mindful spending (more about that here). This is a concept that I have been spruiking for a while now. Amazingly, this week I spoke to someone who has adopted it!

She said it helps her when she’s having that moment in a store, for example, wondering whether she ‘needs’ a new top, or is just buying it for the sake of it.

But what I like about this approach is that it can actually give you freedom, not just constraints. Mindful spending helps you pinpoint those things that ‘spark joy’ and allocate resources that way. Guilt-free, by the way.

So there is no easy answer to ‘how much is enough?’, but there are definitely some road signs to help us on the journey to find out.

 

3 things I learnt in the Christian Louboutin store

It was the outcome of a conversation at work. Long story, but I decided I needed a pair of designer heels to signal to the world that I was serious. I wanted to prove (to myself, mostly) that I’m a successful, grown-up woman who can do all the serious career things.

And so, my friend who lives and breathes designer shopping, excitedly took me to Pitt Street the very next day.

I had some major ‘Julia Roberts on Rodeo Drive’ vibes to be honest. I pretended like I go into stores that sell thousand-dollar shoes all the time, but as you can guess, I have literally never been in one.

Anyway, I didn’t buy any. It was a little disappointing in the end – not for my wallet, which was totally supportive of my decision. Definitely for my friend.

But life is full of unexpected lessons, so here are some thoughts I had following the great Designer Shoe Store Trail of 2019.

  1. Price does not equal comfort. I had this idea that if you paid a lot of money, these heels would magically not hurt your feet. This is a lie! In fact, those Louboutins were red-soled harbingers of death to the balls of your feet. Also, my ‘plump’ feet didn’t really fit into them or any of the fancy brands, except Salvatore Ferragamo, which is made for well-heeled (pun intended) ladies of a certain age who brunch in Double Bay.
  2. It’s hard to rewrite your money script. I’m a massive tight-arse when it comes to clothes and shoes. Who was I kidding? Like yeah, I’ll shop at the usual suspects like Wittner and Nine West, but I ain’t paying full-price. So it’s hard – impossible even – to go from $100 for a pair of shoes to literally ten times that. And then I started thinking about all Nike Air Maxes I could get for that much (to add to the slightly obscene collection already going). Well, anyway, is it any surprise that I abandoned the whole plan? This isn’t a bad thing – it’s part of mindful spending to know what you’re willing to drop your hard-earned dollars on. Or not.
  3. Self-confidence is about what you think, not what you wear. Sorry if this sounds like a motivational quote from Instagram. Like, it’s still important to look polished and professional. But I was expecting that buying some shoes would convince me that I’m legit. Maybe banish some of my impostor syndrome feelings. It turns out the only way to do that is through some serious inner work. Ugh, so much harder than just going shopping. In fact, that’s how it always is. Buying stuff is never a replacement for self-development. Annoying!

Do you need a financial planner – or just a bit of planning?

I got a message from a friend recently, asking me if I could recommend a financial planner.  This friend, let’s call her Gemma, is 27 years old, a few years out of uni and in PR – all of which suggested to me that she isn’t on the big bucks (yet!).

I said hey, why don’t you come over and have a planning session with me. If all you need is some goal setting, then the only cost is that you have to be a case study on the blog. If you need the real deal, then no worries.

She came over, we gossiped about everyone in PR, then we finally sat down with some coloured pens and blank paper (which I effing love!). What follows is of the bones of our conversation.

Let me preface it by saying I’m not a planner. All I am is a person who knows how to ask questions, provide life advice and use a smartphone calculator. The latter one, not even very competently.

But this is the kind of session many people never really do. I had a similar one over cake and coffee about 18 months ago with a mate from work. Sure, he is the head of a Wealth business, but really, he just helped me frame some goals and put some numbers around them. And it was massively useful – it led me to buying my current home … which I bloody love.

Question 1 – What are your goals?

Gemma had helpfully come prepared with these! One short-term goal was to ‘enjoy my lifestyle’, which sounds vague, but seemed to translate to ‘please don’t stop me buying a coffee every day’.

This is where mindful spending comes in. If you really, really love that coffee, and it’s the one thing standing between you and the despair of the working world, then cool. Build it in. Take some other cost out.

Other goals were to move overseas in a couple of years, and to buy a property in her mid-30s. So are these goals do-able? Let’s see.

Question 2. How much are you earning and spending? 

This wasn’t the most exacting process. Ideal world, you’d track every purchase for a month or two, and/or go through your bank statements. But we broke it down enough to get a sense of money in and money out.

This step is so damn critical, but people have a strong aversion to it. They seem scared to look their money dead in the eye, as if it will reach out and punch them.

But actually it’s the opposite most times. Stare that balance sheet down, and it will give you clarity and power.

We worked out that Gemma would have roughly $700 to spare every month, after expenses.

That surplus amount is where all the magic happens. Whether you want to save or invest, you need to play around with incomings and outgoings til you end up with an amount of money you can put to work.

If you are struggling to get to that point, you have two choices: earn more or spend less. So, get a second job, start a side hustle, sell some of your stuff etc. Or go through your spending and work out what you really need, and what you can live without.

Question 3 – How will you allocate your surplus? 

This is where it comes down to timing and priorities. Yeah, you probably can’t do everything you want.

So, what’s most important now, in a year, in five? If you’re looking at goals within those timeframes, putting it in the bank can be the best option, or maybe a low-risk investment  like an enhanced cash product.

That’s because anything less than five years means you don’t have time to ride out the ups and downs of markets.

If it’s longer than that, you can look at higher-risk things like shares and managed funds. This is where it can make sense to see a financial planner, because sifting your way through products is a bit of a mission.

For our friend Gemma, we decided to put most of it towards medium-term goals like going overseas (so, in the bank).

Question 4: How committed are you to your goals?

Then we looked at the viability of saving to buy a property seven years from now. While the idea of saving $100k (a pretty modest 20% deposit these days) sounds bloody hard, it’s not impossible.

The good thing about Gemma’s situation is that she’s at the start of her career. She is also whip-smart and ambitious AF. So even though she is on pretty crap money now, she is going to keep going up and up. The real trick for her is not to allow too much lifestyle inflation.

What if you avoid lifestyle inflation? Today on the left, future on the right. Stay real and you can do some real saving.

That means not spending more as you earn more. And goddamn that is haaaard.

I’ll confess. I earn pretty good money these days, and do a decent job of saving. I’m smashing my mortgage and stuff. But I have pitfalls. Like, I’m currently in a cycle of Shellac manicures (nothing but a dirty addict).

And it’s hard to talk myself out of the $35 spend when I have money in my account. So I am giving myself a few months of enjoyment. I swear I can give up whenever I want. But anyway, I feel your pain babes. If you have money, it’s natural to want to spend it on sugar hits like clothes and restaurants and make-up.

Anyway, you’re going to have lots of growing expenses if you’re in your 20s or 30s. You have so many decisions to make about what to splash out on. You can’t avoid them all. What you can do is stay mindful, set goals and check in on them regularly.

When we worked it out, Gemma can indeed save for a home if she keeps earning more, but doesn’t give into the temptation of pissing it away on fancy stuff. Too often, anyway.

Goal-setting is like going to the gym

It seems hard and sometimes scary beforehand. Gemma told me as much. It’s like you don’t want to hear bad news.

But just like the high you get walking out of a Spin class, it’s a fantastic feeling to have your goals all mapped in front of you.

So don’t be scared. Get your pens and pencils out babes, and get cracking on your future!

Hot tip: Check out this post for more on goal-setting, and a free worksheet I made for you!

What’s your legacy – and how will money shape it?

One of the things we all struggle with is finding the right motivation to do things better.

Making good decisions with your money is hard.

There are so many fun things to spend it on. The Wittner sale! A Shellac manicure! A new handbag! All nice things, I’ll agree. (And all things I have been known to ‘invest’ in).

But if we are to build true wealth, we can’t just buy nice things.

We need to think about the kind of life we’re building. What we want to do, how we want to live, what we want to achieve.

Because money shouldn’t be about what you can own; it should be about what you can do.

A big part of this is what I call ‘Mindful Spending’ – which you can read more about here. But you can also go bigger with your thinking.

What’s your legacy?

I started a new job a couple of months ago, and my first pay was not only more than a month’s worth, it included a nice payrise. I gave myself a month to go a little nuts with it. I called it the ‘month of spending’.

One of the greatest enjoyments I had was taking out people I love and picking up the cheque.

Then I made a ridiculously large order at Dan Murphy’s so that my cocktail cabinet is ready for guests who enjoy Martinis, Old-fashioned’s or Negronis. (I may be partial to those myself, from time to time).

In general, I’ve set up my place with a comfy lounge, a fancy air mattress and good pillows, so that all my friends and family can come stay in the city when they want to. Do I encourage/enable them to go out and have big nights in Surry Hills? Possibly.

Anyway, I’m not telling you this to make you think I’m a good person, or to make you come over to my place (but hey, you’re totally welcome). The point is that money is making me happy, by making other people happy.

If I thought about what I would like to be remembered for one day, I don’t want people to say ‘Belinda had a great collection of boots’ (although, admittedly, I do).

I want them to say ‘Bo was always up for an impromptu cocktail party at her place’. Or maybe, ‘Remember that time she danced on the stage at Arq/in the cage at Stonewall/on the podium at Carmen’s’. (Admittedly, that last one was circa 1998).

So maybe this is a really long way of saying that making memories is just as important as making money.

Finding your why

I understand that not everyone wants to be remembered for their willingness to dance in public. But I’m sure you have an idea of how you want to impact other people’s lives.

I’m not advocating that you spend on other people before yourself. Like the oxygen masks on the plane, fix your own financial situation before anyone else’s. But do with an eye for how it impacts others.

Here are some questions you might ask yourself, when you’re trying to get serious about not wasting money:

  • How does my spending affect other people around me, either positively or negatively?
  • Do my current spending choices make feel good? How good? What would make them feel even better?
  • Am I setting myself up for positive opportunities down the track? Or is my spending focused on short-term sugar hits?

Sometimes, it’s good to take a step back and think about the bigger picture.

And hopefully, it will be one more motivator to make good decisions with your money.

 

 

Are these 4 spending traps blowing your budget?

There’s a curious thing about modern, middle-class life. We can afford things. We have money to spend. But we’re not very good at it.

Sure, we have to cover the boring bills and housing costs. But someone with a decent income has a bit of flex left in their budget. The dilemma is deciding what to do with it.

I’ve been thinking about this lately. How do we know if we can afford something?

Or more accurately, how do we decide what we can afford?

It’s more complicated than it sounds. Humans are notoriously bad with delayed gratification. So, when we’re deciding how to allocate our money, we often choose what’s right in front of us.

Shiny things, fun things, easy things!

In a perfect world of financial responsibility, we wouldn’t go shopping or to the pub until we’d put extra money into our savings,  our mortgage, or investments. But life is not perfect, nor are we.

But I have a theory that the key to building wealth is saying, “I know I can afford this, but should I?”.

There are some common spending traps that we should be conscious of in life. We would do well to notice, pause and reflect on these … before we get out our wallets.

Emotional spending

Maybe most spending is emotional. We have a vision of our lives that we’re trying to fulfill. To look a certain way, present a certain way, create a certain story about ourselves.

But there is also a particular type of emotional spending that’s a response to a situation. It’s called retail therapy, and it’s bullshit.

Therapy is a positive process that makes you face your feelings and deal with them. Shopping is just avoiding those feelings.

Spending to soothe your pain – or at least delay it – is a trap.

(I’m not saying I haven’t done it, but I will say I have I ended up with poorly fitting outfits.)

Solution? Process your emotions, rather than avoiding them. Call a friend, go for a run, hit the gym (my personal favourite). Maybe even go to real therapy (seriously – it’s great – I wrote about it here).

Mindless/lazy spending

This is my hobby horse, so get ready for a rant.

If you’re spending fifty bucks a week buying lunch, because you can’t haul your arse into a supermarket, then it’s time to reassess your life choices.

It’s not about having time, it’s about having priorities.  I’m not saying you need to spend hours in the kitchen every night. Commit a short period of time to even the most half-hearted food prep, and you’ll thank yourself. (I gotchu fam – tips here and here).

Same goes for spending too much at the pub/cocktail bar, because it’s a habit and your friends do it and you can’t think of anything else to do that’s cheaper or more satisfying.

Look, everyone likes a night out, but if it’s your default, then maybe have think about the habits you’re forming.

Solution: Work out where your downfall is, and how much time or effort you need to fix it. It may be less than you think.

Routine spending

It’s easy to think something is necessary because you do it a lot. But it just means you’ve set your baseline at a particular level: regular salon sessions, eyelash extensions, getting your hair done every six weeks, or whatever recurring cost has become part of your routine.

I was convinced that one-on-one coaching every week was definitely necessary and justified. But having stopped it this year, it turns out, it’s not. I love my coach, but do I have other financial priorities right now? Yes. (Am I a good enough powerlifter to justify the cost of coaching? No)

Solution: I’m not saying you shouldn’t treat yourself. I’m saying to think about what you have normalised in your life, and whether it’s serving you well.

Social-pressure spending

The social pressure of money is a real thing.

People don’t like to say ‘I can’t afford that’. There’s a perceived shame in noting the lofty financial expectations people place on others.

So you either find money for things, or whack it on credit cards.

Hen’s weekend that’s gonna cost 300 bucks? Suck it up and pay.

Friday night drinks that cost $50 a round? Deal with it.

Group birthday present for $100 each? Sign me up.

And before you know it, the budget is blown.

Solution: Generosity is good, but you don’t have to get on board the crazy-cost-train every time you’re asked. If you have a financial goal you’re working to, make it known. “Sorry, I’ve got some aggressive savings goals for my house deposit. Can we look at some other options, or I will do my own thing”.

Real friends will be chill about that. Shallow friends can eat a bag of dicks.

Set yourself up for success

Look, I know this stuff isn’t always easy. The first step is being clear on your goals – it’s easier to say no if you know the reason. I highly recommend working on your goals (here) and mindful spending manifesto (here).

Then you’ll be set up for success when it comes to saying no, or not today, or not ever.

When should I pay other people to do stuff?

Sometimes, it pays to pay a professional.

Anyone who has ever walked out of a salon with a kick-arse blowdry knows this. Never in my life have I got my hair as good as Millie can. I always book an appointment on a day that I have some major social event, so I don’t waste that hotness.

Look at that salon-perfect hair!

But there are other important things we should pay for in life. I’m often surprised how people who would spend a hundred bucks on drinks and dinner, will blanch at the idea of spending that to see a health professional.

So, I want to have a conversation about things that might be a really good investment, even though you have to shell out some cash.

Some of these have a material return on investment, while others just have a positive impact on your life. But it’s a version of mindful spending – ‘how am I going to deploy my money in a way that gives me the most happiness?’.

1. A financial adviser – I know, you expected me to say this. And I don’t think everyone needs an adviser at every stage of their lives. But there are some points where it makes a lot of sense. For example:

Getting married – Do not tell me that you can drop upwards of $20k on a wedding but can’t spend a couple of grand on a Statement of Advice. Or, you could be really sensible and spend some of your wishing well money on it.

Getting hitched is a good opportunity to map out a financial future together, and ensure you’re on the same page about it.

Many couples miss this crucial goal-setting convo, and muddle along with different ideas of what they’re trying to achieve. Conflict ensues (every time you bring home new shoes).

Having kiddoes – This is more about getting your insurance sorted. If you’re responsible for  tiny humans, you need to think about  life, trauma and income protection insurance to protect them. If something happened to you, would your partner have the resources to keep working, cover childcare, educate the kids and pay a mortgage … until the kids are all grown up?

Australians are  woefully underinsured for things like this. But you can talk to a financial adviser just for an insurance review (i.e. you don’t get a full financial plan) and the fees are pretty low – under $500 in the network I work for. Sometimes they may even waive them (because they get a commission). Definitely worth looking at.

Becoming a grown up – I know, there is no real test for this point. But I think there is a solid case for sitting down with a professional at some point around your late 20s – early 30s mark. You’ve been working for a few years now, you’ve saved some money (or not) and you want to genuinely get your shit together.

But there are so many options! Speaking to an expert can help you clarify your goals and give you comfort that you’re on the right track. I went through this process at age 29 and even though none of the life plan worked out (the kids, the marriage etc), it was a great, educational process and taught me a lot about goal setting. (Side note – I didn’t actually implement the advice because it was very heavy on investing in equities, and I was worried about the markets. This was early 2008. In all of the good calls I ever made financially, this was the best).

Of course there are other triggers for seeing an adviser – these are just a few. So how do you find a good one? Well, same way you find a good hairdresser, to be honest.

Ask friends and family, look at testimonials, search online. Make sure they are qualified and part of a reputable group that holds an AFSL. Ask about their qualifications, and see if you like them in your first consultation, which is generally free. If the vibe isn’t right, look for someone else. Basically, find someone whom you trust and seems legit.

Then filter their advice with your own thinking and preferences – just the same as if your hairdresser were to say ‘I think you should try a fringe’ and you know you hate having one. That’s what I did, way back in 2008.

I worked with finance clients, I could see the sub-prime crisis brewing, my boss and I discussed how heated the market was – and I held off. Why didn’t my adviser do this? Well, I think people who are ‘in’ the industry often fit the old cliche: when you’ve got a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Just like the sales lady in Kookai is going to tell you that a Kookai dress is the best solution to your birthday outfit quandary, an adviser probably wants to sell you a financial product. It’s up to you to decide if your bum looks big in it.

A Personal Trainer – I know, this blog is about money, not fitness. But I want to address this because a lot of people question spending money on a PT. Is it just an extravagance?

If you get a good one, it’s not. A good PT will push you to your limits (“just killing me enough” is a great description for my coach), correct your technique and create variety that makes your body respond and change.

I question the value of some PTs I see in the gym: having a chat, watching you go through the motions, being your bestie.

If you don’t hate your PT a little, for the hour they’re training you, you should probably find a new one.

I first went to my coach when I’d hit a plateau – I wanted to get leaner and stronger but couldn’t do it alone. Years of powerlifting later, I am both of those things (although annoyingly, my triceps mean I can hardly wear any suit jackets).

I have experienced both elation and disappointment in getting there. I’ve cried with frustration in deadlift sessions, celebrated PBs, competed in events and made my body do stuff I never imagined it could.

For me, that’s worth the money I spend. If you’re plateaued, frustrated with results, finding it hard to stay on track, or ready to push yourself to new places, get a good PT.

The caveat on this is – if you can afford it. i.e. if you’ve paid for all the other things like bills, savings and an emergency fund. And you may need to skip something else, like buying lunches and coffees out, or getting your nails done. You can’t have all the treats, all the time.

Cleaners, removalists, carwashes and any other service provider – I just moved house and paid a removalist to do it all for me. After years of borrowed utes, trucks and a Ukrainian guy off Airtasker whose offsider was his tiny girlfriend, this was a wonderful luxury. I had the money, so I paid for it. Didn’t lift one box – amazing!

Whether you pay for things like a cleaner is down to you. But I would argue you need to consider:

  1. Can I afford it? i.e. have I paid all my bills including my savings? Have I given up a different luxury?
  2. Does it make my life better? i.e. am I using that time I saved wisely, or defusing a relationship pain point (fighting over who cleans the bathroom).

You really need to answer both those questions before you can shell out, guilt-free.

How to feel wealthier, happier and more in control of money

What do you get when you cross a yoga teacher with a financial adviser?

No, that’s not the opening line to a joke.

Lea Schodel is both of those things, and as a result, is the driving force behind a more mindful approach to money. Lea and I came across each other on the interwebs and were like “Yasss, you totally get it!”… “It” being the way money and emotions and wealth and being a woman all intersect.

Lea’s approach to the topic has seen her sprout a social enterprise, The Mindful Wealth Movement, focused on helping women connect their hearts and minds with their money. And then make better decisions about it.

One of the things she provides – for free – is a 30 Day Mindful Wealth Challenge, where you receive a daily email with a little task. Some of them are very practical, like renaming a bank account to fit with a goal – “Adventure Bucket” or “Freedom Fund” for example. Others are more reflective, such as, “Make a list of all the things that wealth means to you”.

What I enjoy is that each day has an affirmation linked to the challenge, like “I am creating a wealthy life”.  It’s a simple but powerful process to reassess your relationship to money.

Lea recently wrapped up a crowdfunding campaign, raising money to provide mindful wealth and financial literacy workshops to disadvantaged women. And she still found time to share some of her thoughts with you, the Fierce Girl community, in answer to my questions. So please read on for some tips from this inspirational woman. 

What prompted you to marry mindfulness with wealth?

As a financial planner, I completely understand the need for the technical knowledge and skills (left-brain) required to manage money well. But to me, this is only half of the skillset required to have a healthy relationship with money. As a yoga teacher and wellbeing coach, I also recognise that our mindset – our thoughts and feelings (right brain) – affect our ability to manage money well.

I often say, “in order to manage money well, we need to manage ourselves well”.

Our thoughts and feelings will either support or sabotage the actions we take with our money – and often we’re not even aware of it.

A lot of what we do with our money is sub-consciously driven: done out of habit or influenced by our emotions. We all have a complex money story and a whole range of beliefs and attitudes towards money. This can either support us or limit us when it comes to earning, keeping and growing our wealth.

After studying mindfulness, I saw it as an ideal philosophy and practice to apply to not only our finances, but our lives and relationships too. Mindfulness is all about creating attention and becoming present and fully aware of our current situation.

Why did you decide to build it into a social enterprise?   

I have this motto in business: Be guided by purpose and be driven by passion. I believe you can work in a space where you generate profit but also generate impact.

Money has such an impact on all areas of our lives. Having a good relationship with money and knowing how to manage your finances is fundamental to wellbeing as well as the ability to live healthy, balanced and stress free lives.

In my experience in Financial Services over the last 16 years, I’ve come to realise that many women (and men) are missing even the most fundamental personal finance concepts and it’s not really their fault – basic financial management wasn’t taught in schools or even households for most people growing up.

I’m on a mission – to help women create a conscious and purposeful relationship with wealth, help them take control of their finances and allow them live happier, healthier and wealthier lives.

I also feel that if as a society we are more conscious and purposeful with money, then it will address social issues such as depression, suicide, homelessness, domestic violence and poverty.

It will also help close the gender pay gap and retirement shortfalls that many women face. I’d also like to see more women become conscious consumers, practice gratitude and maybe even embrace the minimalist movement.  

The final reason I created a social enterprise is because I wanted to make financial literacy and education inclusive to all women, not just those who can afford to pay for financial advice.

It doesn’t matter how much or how little money women have, we all need to know how to manage it properly if we want to use it in a way that supports our dreams, goals and wellbeing.

What stories do you see women often sabotaging their finances with?

Money is so fraught with emotion. Fear, guilt, shame or embarrassment often prevent women from seeking help or even taking the next step to gain control of their money situation.

I see a lot of women who hand over the responsibility to someone else to manage their money, and those who secretly wish and hope someone else will save them – or sweep in and fix their finances for them!

I have a lot of women tell me that they find money boring, or that they’re too creative, or just don’t care about money. It’s almost as though they feel that it’s not really a feminine thing to be money savvy or an investor.  

I see lots of women mixing up their self-worth with their net worth – thinking that they can spend their way to higher self esteem, or trying to value themselves and their success based on the clothes they wear and the things they own.

Finally, I see many women completely disconnected from their future selves, too busy living in the now to consider the impact that their money decisions today may be limiting their opportunities for tomorrow.

If you want to start practicing mindful wealth, where do you start?

Mindful wealth is all about creating connection with and bringing awareness to your wealth, accepting your current money situation and then taking intentional action to create wealth. 

The simplest way to begin is by starting to notice how money is flowing in and out of your life. Whether it is quick to earn and easy to spend, whether you are hanging onto it too tightly, whether you are oblivious to how much you earn, spend, own and owe.

From this place of awareness, you can begin to notice how your emotions and habits may be driving your relationship with money.

Any time you spend or receive money, check in to see how you are feeling, or take a moment to explore the “why” behind your actions with money.

This helps us to create more connection to our money habits (which are often driven from our sub-conscious).

There is a saying that the way to “buy happiness” is not to buy things, but to spend the money you do have, on the things that you value most in life. If you know what you truly value, then you can begin to use the money you do have to bring more of that into your life.

See if you can define what wealth means to you personally. Have a go at thinking about what is present in your life already, or that you’d like to have more of in order to feel happy and abundant.

Whilst money may certainly be one of these things, see if you can list all of the other things that you need or like to have in life and that bring you the most satisfaction and happiness.

This can be an interesting exercise, as often we have this idea that to be wealthy, we need to have lots of money. Then, in the pursuit of more money, we can sometimes lose sight of the things that make us feel truly wealthy.

What if you’re partnered, and your partner isn’t on board? How do you manage that?

I so often see “opposite” money personalities in partnerships, whether romantic or business. Given money is a leading cause of relationship breakdown and divorce, we can certainly do ourselves and our relationships a favour if we can get on the same page as our partners.

In any partnership, it’s important to recognise that we all have a unique money personality, experiences, values and habits. If we can create awareness around what these are for our partner, and they can understand what they are for us, then we can understand what drives our behaviours.

I use a great tool with my clients, which helps couples to discuss their dominant habits and attitudes with money. Then they can begin to work out a plan to support each other’s strengths and challenges when it comes to managing money.

If you’re not on the same page as your partner when it comes to your finances, the first place to start is with communication.

If you can’t communicate with each other without arguing, then it could pay to see a financial counsellor or money coach to begin the conversation in a neutral environment.  

I’m a big fan of transparency between partners, but I also insist that partners maintain some financial independence.

 Joint accounts are great to manage joint and household expenses and debt, but I think it’s also necessary to have individual accounts for personal spending money, so that each partner can spend freely on the things that they value most.

So, these are just some of Lea’s wise words. There is a lot to process there! And because I know you guys like practical tips, I have crunched it down for you into 3 Top Tips for Mindful Wealth.

 

 

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